The Conservative Muse

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© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

 

 

Dear Big Government,

 

You did it again! I can hardly believe it!

Or did I hear incorrectly, perhaps misconceive it?

Is it really the truth that midst all your largesse

You’ll help us resolve all our auto distress

By giving us thousands for making new deals

To put us in high-class and flashy new wheels?

 

Your immense generosity makes us so thankful

We’ll whisper “Barack” when we buy every tankful

Which we won’t do so often since all our new rides

Are small and efficient and green-ish, besides.

Since our mileage-per-gallon is higher than ever

We can grab our new cars and go driving forever!

 

I want you to know, while I’m grateful a lot,

I’m recalling the loan that I recently got

from that lender that sounds like it’s somebody’s granny –

what’s the name? Can’t remember…it’s something like “Fannie”…

 

But that loan didn’t go the way anyone planned;

Who’da thought that some big shot would make a demand

That I make monthly payments or lose the darned house?

This caused quite a row between me and the spouse!

 

So I’m sure for my car I’ll get nice, easy credit 

(my personal statement I’m willing to edit)

and you’ll give me protection from frivolous troubles

Like having to pay for insurance that doubles,

Or personal property tax that’s increased

Once my clunker’s recorded as being deceased.

 

You’re the greatest Big Government ever in history!

(Though how you afford all these gifts is a mystery)

and soon for good health we can all rest assured –

through government programs we’ll all be insured!

 

But I think what’s your greatest commendable trait

Is you’re equally kind to the small and the great:

You got GM and Chrysler and banks who await

Your wisdom – and cash – that will set them all straight.

When we’re all so dependent on you for our fate,

There’s no end to the empire you’re gonna create!

 

Yours truly,

A fan of Barack’s welfare state!

© 2009, The Conservative Muse

We all were amazed when Obama the Great

Made claim after claim of the things he’d set straight

Once elected to office and wielding his power;

Now we gasp as his ego inflates by the hour.

To his self-described talents we’d make an addition:

Like Siegfried or Roy, he’s a master magician!

Take Barack’s speech in Cairo, ‘midst wild Arab cheer,

When The One made all “terrorists” – poof! – disappear!

…oh, wait just a minute… now what’s that you say?

It’s not that they’re gone, he’s just got a new way

Of describing those people who wish us all dead

‘cause to call them all “terrorists” makes them see red?

Oops, sorry! Instead we’ll try this on for size:

While vowing to save us from fiscal demise

And protect us from restlessly unemployed mobs,

He’s “saving” us hundreds of thousands of jobs.

…Ok, you’re now thinking: it’s more of the same…

Since it can’t be disproved it’s a spurious claim.

Then here’s some nice magic that can’t be disputed:

We know that for decades Old Europe’s been rooted

In socialist programs of nanny state caring;

But recent election results are declaring

A staggering shift from the left to the right;

Barack’s economics have caused such a fright

That lefties in Europe are going ballistic;

What a feat! The One’s scaring them capitalistic!

Barack’s Magic Show has extended its run;

For big government types it’s a whole lot of fun!

With federal bailouts in massive profusion,

and car manufacturers mired in confusion

and socialized health care now out of seclusion,

His leadership “skill” is his greatest illusion!

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

 

A big-hearted lib’s filled with goodness and kindness;

he’s first to announce that he’s got major blindness

to issues of color; he loves all diversity;

One’s skin pigmentation won’t trigger adversity

In a liberal world packed with warm toleration

For people and lifestyles of every persuasion.

 

Except, it would seem, when it comes to our cars….

From the Socialists’ Hymnal we’ll sing a few bars

to honor fed takeovers, state-run endeavors,

and big government using its sizeable levers

to force us to act in the ways they see fit –

now controlling the colors of cars they’ll permit!

 

When liberal craziness carries the day,

you can bet California’s leading the way!

The infamous homeland to fruitcakes and nuts

Would like to command that we put all our butts

In cars that are energy-saving and “green” –

Their resident geniuses take this to mean

 

They should outlaw the sale of all cars that are black!

They get so darned hot, their AC’s out of whack

while burning up power far more than their share –

to the rest of us drivers it’s simply not fair!

(This mandate provides us no shock revelation:

The Left Coast is known for pastel inclination…)

 

We know it’s the liberals’ game plan to strike

mortal blows at the Hummer, big vans, and the like;

Barack says he’s glad when gas prices are high:

The faster the SUV market will die!

But we’re taken aback by the swiftness of flight

From reason to foolishness, reaching its height

In denying one’s choice for the color of night.

The irony shines like a beacon of light:

Now our president’s black; soon all cars will be white!