The Conservative Muse

© 2009 by The Conservative Muse

 

We’ll have to give goofy Joe Biden his due

For predicting that after Obama’s debut

Some nut would create a most dire provocation

To test The One’s foreign affairs inclination.

His response is no longer maintained in suspense:

Obama’s invoking the Aflac defense!

 

As anyone watching a TV would know

The firm known as “Aflac” pays millions to show

commercials that feature a white-feathered fowl

That quacks so annoyingly spectators howl

To change the darned channel or lower the sound –

But these ads and Barack are essentially bound….

 

‘Cause meantime nuke weapons are flourishing widely –

As Barack makes like Nero and fiddles so idly.

Those talks that were planned for disarming Iran?

They’re not very likely since Mullahs began

To beat those protesting against the election,

And The One has, at last, backed the failed insurrection.

 

Now insane Kim Jong Il’s pointing weapon-tipped rockets

to blackmail the West and to line his own pockets

while spreading his nuclear caches abroad,

where Middle East terrorists loudly applaud

Barack’s taking Israel firmly to task –

It’s exactly what groups like Hamas would’ve asked!

 

“Now Muse,” you might think, “this is quite a big stretch —

This Aflac-Obama link — just to kvetch!”

But hear what we say, and you’ll see what we mean:

Barack’s foreign policy-making machine

Is committed to “talking” and, therefore, inaction;

(To these nuclear renegades’ great satisfaction!)

Now the mascot for Aflac gets into the action,

‘cause “Duck!” is Barack’s sole remaining reaction!

 

 

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

 

 A mouse in a wheel

platform small as a skateboard

Barack’s ideal car

Flatulent sheep honk

Greenhouse gas permeates air

Tax those selfish beasts!

Brain made of jello

No traces of memory

Nancy still Speaker

 

Biden court jester

King Barack kept in stitches

More fun than Palin!

 

Credit card maxed out

Hi-def Cable bill unpaid

Barack will save me

open close open

Obama treating Gitmo

Like local “Quik Trip”

Alarm bells from Gore

Imminent earth disaster

He’ll sell salvation!

 

Wild iran mullahs

Nukes to threaten entire world

Let’s sit down and chat!

 

Catholic Barack

On big European stage

Says “Mea culpa”

 

Kim Jong Il tests bomb

Obama really angry

Holds breath ‘til turns blue

 

Wealth as finite pie

The “rich” have too big a slice

Tax those selfish beasts!

 

Big Hollywood libs

Feel qualified to speak up

Think films are real

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

 

 He’s quite the celeb, of that fact we’re all sure;

He’s been on a nonstop publicity tour

That got him a gig on TV’s biggest shows,

The better his charm and allure to expose.

 

His wife is on Vogue, he appears on GQ,

But it seems that there’s more that he’s anxious to do –

It looks like he’s honing a standup routine;

Move over Jay Leno, Barack’s on the scene!

 

While on “The Tonight Show” Obama compared

His bowling technique to a clumsiness shared

By contestants in Special Olympics events;

Who knew that he had such a humorous sense?

 

Having slayed’em back home, he went way overseas

To spread “mea culpas” and ask “pretty please”

Of the Euros (who nonetheless spurned his requests),

Although his great wit must’ve surely impressed

 

Like during that moment of unscripted candor

when Barack outdid Bush as chief bumbling commander

in claiming an “Austrian” language exists;

when it comes to amusement the guy just can’t miss!

 

Of all the bad luck, while Barack trod this stage,

Kim Jong Il fired a rocket and raised global rage!

This nuclear scare caused Obama to say,

“The world should disarm, and we’ll show them the way!”

 

There’s a master of irony ‘neath all those charms;

He’s joking, of course; if we dumped all our arms

The only guys left that’ll have any nukes

Will be Mideast jihadists and crazy Kim’s kooks!

 

He’s mastered the physical clowning, as well:

He broke us all up when he just about fell

While bowing before an Arabian king

While his handlers denied that he did such a thing!

 

And now we note Hillary’s stealing some thunder

With her own comic touch on a policy blunder:

There’s 900 mil that she’s pledged to release

To poor tortured Gazans to buy Mideast peace!

 

There’s plenty of options for humor ahead:

A “stimulus” keeping us mired in the red;

“Cap and trade” to insure global warmth isn’t spread;

A tax code insuring the “wealthy” are bled

While capitalism gets flipped on its head….

 

This makes us take pause and review what we’ve said:

 ‘Twould be “funny” – except that it’s “scary” instead!