The Conservative Muse

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theconservativemuse.com

please visit:

theconservativemuse.com

© 2009 by The Conservative Muse

 

We’ll have to give goofy Joe Biden his due

For predicting that after Obama’s debut

Some nut would create a most dire provocation

To test The One’s foreign affairs inclination.

His response is no longer maintained in suspense:

Obama’s invoking the Aflac defense!

 

As anyone watching a TV would know

The firm known as “Aflac” pays millions to show

commercials that feature a white-feathered fowl

That quacks so annoyingly spectators howl

To change the darned channel or lower the sound –

But these ads and Barack are essentially bound….

 

‘Cause meantime nuke weapons are flourishing widely –

As Barack makes like Nero and fiddles so idly.

Those talks that were planned for disarming Iran?

They’re not very likely since Mullahs began

To beat those protesting against the election,

And The One has, at last, backed the failed insurrection.

 

Now insane Kim Jong Il’s pointing weapon-tipped rockets

to blackmail the West and to line his own pockets

while spreading his nuclear caches abroad,

where Middle East terrorists loudly applaud

Barack’s taking Israel firmly to task –

It’s exactly what groups like Hamas would’ve asked!

 

“Now Muse,” you might think, “this is quite a big stretch —

This Aflac-Obama link — just to kvetch!”

But hear what we say, and you’ll see what we mean:

Barack’s foreign policy-making machine

Is committed to “talking” and, therefore, inaction;

(To these nuclear renegades’ great satisfaction!)

Now the mascot for Aflac gets into the action,

‘cause “Duck!” is Barack’s sole remaining reaction!

 

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.”

The “Miranda” Warning

 

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

 

Let’s say that we’ve captured a terrorist schmuck

In lawless Afghanistan, running amok

With knowledge of plans to destroy U. S. cities

As drawn by Osama’s Al Qaeda committees.

‘Gainst this high value captive we can’t be too violent:

In fact, we’ll present him his rights to be silent!

 

Thanks to deep Gitmo guilt and far left propaganda,

We’re reading Jihadists their rights of Miranda!

No waterboard treatment for these special guys:

We’ll get’em attorneys and let them devise

A defense meant to show all our worldwide detractors,

Since Barack’s been elected, we’re not such bad actors!

 

Such policies render The Muse almost mute

(Elating those people of leftist pursuit)

but we know of what Democrats surely are dreaming:

with their buddies, the trial attorneys, they’re scheming

to strengthen their dicey, unholy alliance

by creating a bottomless source of new clients.

 

Our Great Leader had told “60 Minutes” this spring

Miranda for terrorists wasn’t a thing

That’s likely to happen, and which he’d condemn –

The same thing he said about running GM!

It’s clear just how deep The One’s mercy doth run

Now that Uighurs stroll free in Bermuda’s warm sun!

 

If Barack watches cop shows that run on TV

His favorite moments would certainly be

When police catch their man, put their ‘cuffs on his hands,

Then pause to make sure that the perp understands

How to game our court system with brazen demands –

And be just like those thugs from al-Qaeda-filled lands!

 

© 2009, The Conservative Muse

We all were amazed when Obama the Great

Made claim after claim of the things he’d set straight

Once elected to office and wielding his power;

Now we gasp as his ego inflates by the hour.

To his self-described talents we’d make an addition:

Like Siegfried or Roy, he’s a master magician!

Take Barack’s speech in Cairo, ‘midst wild Arab cheer,

When The One made all “terrorists” – poof! – disappear!

…oh, wait just a minute… now what’s that you say?

It’s not that they’re gone, he’s just got a new way

Of describing those people who wish us all dead

‘cause to call them all “terrorists” makes them see red?

Oops, sorry! Instead we’ll try this on for size:

While vowing to save us from fiscal demise

And protect us from restlessly unemployed mobs,

He’s “saving” us hundreds of thousands of jobs.

…Ok, you’re now thinking: it’s more of the same…

Since it can’t be disproved it’s a spurious claim.

Then here’s some nice magic that can’t be disputed:

We know that for decades Old Europe’s been rooted

In socialist programs of nanny state caring;

But recent election results are declaring

A staggering shift from the left to the right;

Barack’s economics have caused such a fright

That lefties in Europe are going ballistic;

What a feat! The One’s scaring them capitalistic!

Barack’s Magic Show has extended its run;

For big government types it’s a whole lot of fun!

With federal bailouts in massive profusion,

and car manufacturers mired in confusion

and socialized health care now out of seclusion,

His leadership “skill” is his greatest illusion!

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

The Muse loves his wife – they’ve been married for years –
But he recently couldn’t appreciate tears
That rolled down her cheeks for the length of the day
That saw the whole country so touchingly pay
Respects to our newest commander-in-chief
Who’s promised the world that we’ll turn a new leaf.

Although she had voted for John S. McCain,
the Muse’s stark apathy made her complain
that she felt he’d shortchanged this momentous occasion
of our first leader ever not being Caucasian!
(In making this claim one should be slightly hesitant,
‘Cause wasn’t Bill Clinton our first black-ish president?)

“It’s history-making, you know,” she cajoled,
“You claim you’re a poet – and yet you’re so cold!”
“But wait,” he replied, “you may find me abrasive,
but referring to ‘history’ isn’t persuasive
If your goal is to get me to wax so euphoric;
I’d remind you Pearl Harbor was also ‘historic’!”

The Muse was aware that this ploy wouldn’t work;
He toyed with self-doubt: was he being a jerk
for obsessing on negative aspects of “Hope” –
that Barack represents that most slippery slope
To big government programs and leftist dominion,
with security sold for a “good” world opinion?

But just when the Muse to the dark side had drifted,
from out of his deepening funk he was lifted
by a newsperson breathlessly breaking the story
that Barack, in his newly-elected full glory -
before the sad end of his very first day -
was closing the jail at Guantanamo Bay!

Yes indeed, all those poor tortured souls that libs pity
Might be coming so soon to your very own city!
Or released to the cesspool of Middle East lands
Where they’ll get all their dirty Al Qaeda-linked hands
Right back in the muck where we caught’em at first;
How great to see Gitmo injustice reversed!

Obama’s delivered the Muse his salvation,
A Gitmo-like “Get Out of Jail” invitation.
By feeding his party this chunk of red meat
And confirming his place with the leftist elite,
Barack has performed an impossible feat:
Mrs. Muse thinks her husband is ever so sweet!

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

 

The Muse has a favor to ask of his reader(s):

His works are distinguished by rhythm and meter(s), 

But he’s facing a troublesome problem this time – 

His subject involves a most challenging rhyme.

With meekness that’s rarely employed by the Muse, 

He begs your permission in asking to use

 

Large lyrical license to help him create 

A tribute that’s fitting for one who would rate

As biggest and brightest ‘mongst liberal sages,

A Polish-born dude making Democrat wages.

Can you tell who it is from this general hint-ski? 

It’s that man we’ll refer to as Ziggy Brzezinski.

 

The Zigster advised the inept Jimmy Carter

On foreign affairs and still nurtures an ardor 

For causes chic lefties consider so hip – 

Like terrorists’ rights in the hot Gaza strip.

Ziggy says that the Jews can exert self-defense

As long as it’s in a “proportional” sense…

 

What’s scary is how this prized liberal brain

Reflects global thoughts of a similar vein. 

The socialist papers in Europe are yelling 

For Barack to step in with a policy telling

The world that we’re changing the Bushie devotion

to policies aimed at Israeli promotion. 

 

It’s sad that a Rasmussen poll has revealed

Most Democrats feel the Israelis now wield

Too heavy a sword ‘gainst Hamas gentle folk –

We guess, though their missiles might justly provoke

A smallish response – like a sortie or such -

Their clumsy bad aim lends a comical touch!  

 

We see Ziggy’s liberal impact in action

With his daughter, named Mika, a TV attraction

who displays her degree from the Nanny State school – 

opining New York’s tax on soft drinks is “cool.” 

Perhaps she’d allow us to make a “cool” mint-ski

And tax extra letters we find in “Brzezinski.” *

 

The Zigster’s new book quotes a survey that rates 

The Israelis, Iran, and the U.S. as states 

With greatest of evil intent in their soul. 

Should pleasing those polled be our ultimate goal?

Like Bubba risked trouble from bonking Lewinsky,

The Dems should beware if they’re heeding Brzezinski!

 

* – including “Zbigniew,” of course